I just had the *best* Christmas ever!! Well, maybe when the kids were all tiny, that was super fun, but I really enjoyed my Christmas today! All the kids were happy, everyone playing together and enjoying being home, and I was able to just relax and be happy. Last year was my very first year without having my children for Christmas, as the older ones all went to their father's for the very first time since we divorced a decade ago. Gosh I was sad last year, even though we celebrated a few days early and I tried to be excited, it hurt. This year I am acutely aware of what a blessing it is to have them here. I love them so much and I treasure every moment with them.
Last week I had been feeling sick and emotionally down. For the past few days I have been all kinds of off-plan, eating cookies, candy, potatoes, white bread, and cheese. No exercise, either... too busy, too full of food. But I noticed something. I got some comments and emails that mentioned how eating healthy supports the body, but when we eat junk, underlying and/or chronic conditions can come out as "sickness." I thought, ok, maybe. Well, the other day I decided I would eat a couple of healthy meals between all the junk. I had a nice veggie/Egg Beater breakfast, some Clementines, green tea. I had a healthy lunch. I was feeling great: energized, positive, light, healthy. Around 2pm I decided to have a cookie. I sat down and ate a homemade frosted sugar cookie... then another... then a piece of fudge. Within 20 minutes I felt like my "flu" was returning! My sinuses were congested, I was developing a headache, I felt tired and sick. I decided it was no coincidence. I think the sugar crap does a number on my body and my well-being.
Of course, that was not enough to keep me off the junk during Christmas. I still had a cookie here and there. Yesterday I went pretty overboard, actually. It's like each day that went by, I'd eat a little *more* junk. Two cookies on Monday, four on Tuesday, that kind of thing. By yesterday I had built up to an all-cookie diet (well, almost), and then we had prime rib for dinner. Today I got a few gifts of candy which I dove into, and then the ham and potatoes and rolls... well, I really overate.
My sinuses are all over the place with congestion, runny nose, pressure, sneezing. I also have begun my monthly trek through the valley of PMS (made worse by the sugar I've been eating). But still, today *was* the very best Christmas, and I am *so* happy and feel great! Yes, eating healthy and exercising and all IS an integral part of my life, but even when it isn't going so well, that "success" or "failure" DOES NOT have to define me! It is okay to be HAPPY even when the eating is screwy and the scale is up. It is not a *requirement* that you MUST FEEL GUILTY and BAD if you eat cookies and don't exercise. Sure, your body my feel worse. But if your mind is in a happy place and your emotions are bright, that is okay! You do not have to let a weight gain or a couple of unhealthy meals turn your opinion of yourself into something negative. I want to repeat this: It is OKAY to be happy, whether you are on plan or not!
And so, I feel ridiculously happy and content with my Christmas and my children and the lovely little necklace my daughter gave me and the brightly lit tree in the living room. I feel wonderful and amazing emotionally EVEN WITH the heartburn, sinus issues, bloating and PMS cramps. Crazy? Maybe. But better off-plan and happy than off-plan and depressed.
That said, I am so sick of sugar that I am ready to put myself back on track tomorrow morning. I feel very ready to get on that scale and see what it says, and watch that number go back down between now and January 1.
I wish you all a Christmas as amazing and happy as I had! Be well.
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