A Maze of Choices

Over the last 3 days of calorie counting and trying to find my way in a world of food, I have come to a few conclusions.

1. This is harder than I thought. I figured if I went back to eating healthy, whole foods and kept the calories down I'd drop weight AND be satisfied. Nix that. It has only been a few days, but so far the scale is going in the wrong direction AND I am not satisfied. (More on the satisfaction issue later). I bought some high protein, high fiber, whole grain, low cal bread and I think it affected me. Not sure WHAT is affecting me, actually, because I added back in too many things at once. But I am retaining a LOT of water, in fact, I am so bloated that my jeans are tight around the middle and I feel so icky. Today I have cut the grains back out to see if that helps. I am still eating fruit... a couple servings a day. I am out of agave nectar, don't have sugar in the house, but I had a cookie at a Christmas event yesterday and it was icky and made me feel sick, so I threw half away. This morning, I had Egg Beaters with a little low fat cheese for breakfast and got dizzy and nauseous. This is nothing new but I'd forgotten how, most of my life, if I do not have at least *some* carbs for breakfast I get nauseous. I guess it is a blood sugar issue? So I had a Clementine, but still felt ill but I waited til 10 o'clock and had a Greek yogurt. Then I felt fine. Anyway my point is, it is confusing to try and figure out *how* I want to eat... I have cut out artificial sweeteners, and now grains, but not sure what else I am doing. Need to eat more veggies, that's for sure.

2. I am never satisfied. I seem to always want what I cannot have. Human nature perhaps? Grass is always greener syndrome? While I was on Medifast all I wanted was a banana or an apple. Now that I am allowing myself a wide variety of foods, I find myself wanting ice cream and cake. And let me tell you, I know *for a fact* that if I went to the store and bought ice cream and cake, I'd want candy and cookies instead. When I was drinking my coffee with Splenda-infused creamer, all I could think of was a Starbucks latte. Now I have actually TOLD myself, that IF I truly want a latte I can have one if I fit it into my calories, I don't even want one. Not at all. Guess what I want? A Medifast Hot Cocoa @@.

So, what I am learning is to just enjoy whatever it is I am having in this day, in this moment. When I reach for a Clementine and my brain says "wahhhh, I want a candy bar!" I shush that voice, focus on my orange and enjoy the sweet juiciness and aroma that is there for me to savor.

I do have a request, though. I am trying to find a couple of standard, go-to breakfasts I can eat that do not contain any artificial sweeteners. In the past, my go to breakfasts were oatmeal, or an egg/spinach burrito in a Carb Balance tortilla (which I discovered yesterday have sucralose in them! ugh! why??), or a piece of whole grain toast with natural peanut butter and a grapefruit. Since I am trying to cut out/back on grains, I need new ideas. Greek yogurt works, but what else do you eat for breakfast? I'd appreciate if you'd share your usual breakfasts with me in the comments.

It's a sunny, warm day (so far) which is very welcome after weeks of freezing dreariness, so my plan is to get out and take a walk at the park today after I take my daughter to school. I hope the sunshine holds on til then! It will be a special treat.