I am finally over my sickness, which lasted a week and a half. I was really hating it. No energy whatsoever, constant headaches and fatigue. Thank goodness I am on the mend and can get on with the holiday excitement, including taking my little one to see Santa and his (real) reindeer, finishing up the shopping, and baking Christmas cookies and fudge!
For the last two weeks, my exercise efforts have been kind of frustrating. I really enjoy getting outside for a walk a couple of times a week, and I usually do that when the kids are all in school and my daughter is in preschool (twice a week). But there have been school delays, cancellations, ice storms, and temperatures in the teens. So I only got in one ten-minute walk over the past two weeks (well, mainly it was because I was sick... but other circumstances are conspiring too). I really miss my walks! And now that school is out until January, it doesn't look like I am going to get much walking in at all this month. (Yeah, I get all the comments of "just take the kids with you" etc, but trust me that would be a bad idea in this weather. My little one has health issues that would make such an action very unwise.) Anyway, I've been biking instead. It's just as effective, or maybe even more effective than a walk, but not as refreshing or stimulating or enjoyable for me. But I just do it anyway. I biked 6 days out of the past 2 weeks. The other days, I was just too sick. Now that I am back to better health, the biking will happen daily.
Yesterday I continued my "new plan" of eating *with* my cravings instead of against them, enjoying such carby, fatty, salty delights as chicken enchilada soup, a sandwich with veggies and herbed cream cheese, chocolate truffle Godiva coffee with half & half and sugar, chocolate pudding, chicken sausage, a cookie, and a yummy pile of mashed potatoes with butter melting over the top, generously salted. It was really good and I did not binge at all. And this morning I am down another pound, back to 226 (I had reached 229 on Wednesday). I totally expected to gain or maintain with the way I am eating the last couple of days but apparently my body knows what it needs, or something... which is confusing because in the past I have binged myself into oblivion giving in to my cravings. I am not sure what's so different this time. I still get the wild urge to binge every so often but I have been going into a dark bedroom, lying down for 10 minutes, just riding through it, trying to relax and breathe until it passes. Or until a kid comes and jumps on me.
I expect the rest of the month to be a challenge. Cookies, candy, fudge, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day traditional foods. One of the biggest challenges I face is crackers and cheese. It's one of my biggest binge foods. I mean I used to eat a good half pound of cheese and a whole box of crackers in a sitting. Something about the combination sends me to another world. It's like getting high. Seriously. I am not sure yet how I am going to handle it. My family *loves* the traditional spread of cheese, sausages, spreads, dips, and crackers. I am mulling it over to figure out what I am going to do with this. And finally, the anniversary of my father's sudden death is coming up. I do not cope well. I'll probably post about it. And try not to flip out and be a basket case about missing him.
Okay, so in 2 weeks it will be 2010. Whatcha gonna weigh on Jan 1? Two weeks... well you could weigh more, or less, or the same. Your choice! Try and let 2009 go out with some dignity and not spend the next two weeks bingeing and eating whatever garbage is put in front of you. Give yourself a Christmas give of self-respect. I may not lose a ton of weight in the next 2 weeks, but I am at least going to make my best effort to eat in a dignified manner.
Have a great weekend :)
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