Enjoying the Season

Today is a great day! I am feeling fantastic, even though I have PMS, because the sugar is out of my system. When I am eating right, I feel so good most of the time that I wonder why I *ever* eat junk! I guess I get bored, or jealous of what other people are eating, or my mouth just wants the old experiences of eating the old familiar foods in large quantities. But when I eat sugar and fat and salt, I feel so awful. It only takes an hour or less for me to start feeling bad. My energy drops, my stomach aches. My heart starts beating weirdly, I get indigestion, and within a day my joints hurt badly. But the most dramatic change is my mood. Emotionally, when I eat sugar and crap, my happiness and contentment level plummets. I am sure part of that is disappointment in myself for eating junk, but a big part of it is physical. I start feeling lonely, sad, worthless, unhappy, tired. I sit and ruminate on all the bad things in life. And I feel sorry for myself. And then because I feel sorry for myself I treat myself to some more junky food. It's an awful cycle and it is very hard to break out of. Thankfully, I am pretty good at breaking out of that cycle and getting back on plan now. It used to take me months. Then weeks. Now I can have one meal like that and get right back to business, although the goal here is *not* to have meals/days like that at all. I'm not perfect, and when they happen I *need* to be able to put the brakes on quickly or I would gain right back up the scale and be 300 pounds in no time.

Yesterday was a great, on plan day. I did all of my physical therapy exercises in the evening. All of my Christmas shopping is finally done, and today we begin the holiday baking. In the past I've always baked a dozen different kinds of cookies and made four kinds of candy with my kids for Christmas and I started that baking quite early in December. This year, I am making probably 3 kinds of cookies and one kind of fudge. And we haven't even started yet! I can hardly wait. Some of the most fun we have at Christmas is decorating gingerbread men and sugar cookies with tons of sprinkles and a rainbow of icing. Some of you may recall that I never had this as a child, so it is very meaningful to me and a tradition I will always keep.

I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas or whatever other Happy Holiday you enjoy, and if you don't celebrate then I hope you enjoy a nice day of peace :)