Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Fun and Therapy

I had a LOT of fun yesterday skating with my little girl. Every time I sit down and start tying roller skates on my feet, I get a thrill of excitement that reminds me of being in sixth grade again. I just LOVE going around on the wooden floors with all the kids out there. I cannot even tell you how happy it makes me to be out there with my child instead of watching or just sitting home. It's really nice to live life.We have had...
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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

I Am Ready

Whelp, about time to be turning this back into a *weight loss* blog. Enough with the breaks, time to get this thing done.My plan is to get back to basics and stick with my current eating plan (Medifast) 100% without any "going off" or "special treats" or whatever until I get to my goal. And then, to do the transition program s-l-o-w-l-y, and on to a lifetime of maintenance. I did pretty well with staying on plan for about three...
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Monday, December 28, 2015

Oh Dad, I Miss You

Second post today, but I am suddenly overcome by emotion...Oh how I miss my father. I miss his tall, slim figure in the hallway peeking in to check on me in my room when I was a child. I miss the way he held me on his lap and told told me I was beautiful and smart. I miss the way he would always sit and play Scrabble with me when I was a kid, letting me use a dictionary as a spell-checker so I could become proficient at the...
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Sadly, It's Just Food

Over the past couple of weeks I have come to a rather sad realization. Well, it's sad, because I feel like my fantasy-land bubble is bursting... but it's also a joyous thing in another way. In other words, I think once I get over the sadness I will be thrilled with this lesson.The new insight is this: it's just food. Now, this is not news to a lot of people. In fact, I've been reading variations of this concept for ages: "food...
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Sunday, December 27, 2015

Uses For That Ham Bone, and Other Thoughts

Tonight I'm making split pea soup with the leftover ham bone and ham from Christmas. It smells so delicious! If you have a ham bone left, you can enjoy split pea soup too... whether you're low carbing or not! I thought it would be a good time to re-share my two recipes:Best Ever Split Pea SoupandLow Carb Split Pea Soup (with no peas!)Both have great flavor and are warm and nutritious and EASY to make!On another topic, I am still...
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Time Capsule 2010: Visions of the Future

Did you ever make a time capsule when you were a kid? I did, and it's a great idea. I took an empty Quaker oatmeal cylinder and filled it up with stuff: some stickers and drawings of my favorite things, a piece of candy I liked, a story out of the newspaper, a lock of hair, a favorite toy (which is why I ended up opening it early... I wanted my toy back!) The best part was the little note I wrote to my future self. It went something...
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Saturday, December 26, 2015

Weigh In and Update

Last Sunday I weighed 189. This morning, I weigh 185. That's four pounds gone this week, even with Christmas Eve dinner and allowing myself to have *some* cookies in the evening several days this week. I stayed on plan during the day and drank tons of water. I have to call a halt to the cookies soon, though. We are making and frosting sugar cookies today so there maybe be one or two on the evening agenda with tea. But...
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Friday, December 25, 2015

Why I Quit Primal, and Why I Might Try Again

The presents are all opened, the lights are sparkling on the tree for one last night, and the kids are tucked into bed (or staying up late playing video games, as the case may be). I'm full of thankfulness for my family and the time we've spent together enjoying Christmas this year. In between wrapping presents, baking Christmas cookies, and making the traditional ham dinner, I've been mulling some things over in my head with...
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Dichotomy of Emotions

Oh my gosh, I am an emotional *wreck* today! But in a way, it's a good (but painful) thing. I learned something insightful about myself today.I've come to the conclusion that there are two different kinds/origins of emotions and feelings. I hadn't thought about this before, but today being as difficult as it's been has given me some new insight about this. I think some feelings/emotions arise from the mind, while others arise...
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Thursday, December 24, 2015

Compromise and Healing

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it! And peace and joy to everyone :) We had a lovely Christmas Eve Day, including crafts, baking, music, an email from Santa, and a short trip to see some real live reindeer. It's 9:30 and I am waiting for everyone to go to bed so Santa can come, which is easier when the kids are little. Teenagers like to stay up really late!I have been doing well and am much relieved in...
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Wednesday, December 23, 2015

To The Mothers

Today I went roller skating with my daughter, who is five. It isn't the first time we've done this; I wrote about skating with her at her school's skate party earlier this year and how freeing and fun it was. It was, I think, the third time I have skated in my adult life (all three times have been in the last 3 months). As I was skating around the rink with my little one, holding her hand, laughing, watching the silly disco lights...
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Enjoying the Season

Today is a great day! I am feeling fantastic, even though I have PMS, because the sugar is out of my system. When I am eating right, I feel so good most of the time that I wonder why I *ever* eat junk! I guess I get bored, or jealous of what other people are eating, or my mouth just wants the old experiences of eating the old familiar foods in large quantities. But when I eat sugar and fat and salt, I feel so awful. It only takes...
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Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Nothing to Say About It.

Just the facts, because if I start interjecting my feelings about this it won't be pretty.Sunday: 1113 calMonday: 1065 calTuesday: 1663 calWednesday: 1097 calThursday: 1315 calEvery day of those 5 days I ate 65-100 g protein and stayed under 100 g carbs. Last Sunday I weighed 225 pounds. Friday morning, after those five low carb days averaging 1250 cal/day, I still weighed 225 pounds.Friday: had 525 calories, then was at a birthday...
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Monday, December 21, 2015

Why Do You Eat What You Don't Want?

Half the time, when I go off plan I end up eating stuff I don't even like, that doesn't even taste good. Have you noticed that? You get in some kind of a tizzy *having* to eat, sometimes it is about a certain food or a particular flavor you're after. If you're stuck at home without *that food* have you ever just started eating crap that you weren't even wanting in the first place? I recall a time when all I really wanted was a...
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I am Thin, I am Fat

I am thin, because my legs fit into those tiny looking size 10 jeans.I am fat, because some days I just don't believe it and still put on that last lonely, baggy pair of size 14's.I am thin, because all my rings are falling off even my largest fingers now.I am fat, because my upper arms swing and sway, loaded down with fat in a most horrific manner.I am thin, because I see a slim, defined waist when I wear a form fitting size...
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Sunday, December 20, 2015

A Good Day, and What the PT Said

So far today has been awesome! I took an Excedrin this morning to ward of the headache before it started. I have had a *wonderful* day and I cannot believe how much better I feel already!7AM: green tea8AM: Medifast Cranberry Mango drink (sort of reminds me...
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Fresh Start

Well, here I am back on plan with Medifast. So far so good, and I aim to get these regained pounds off before January first and hopefully have "110 Pounds Gone" pictures posted by February. I am determined. I am also bracing myself for a sugar withdrawal headache today... will post an update of how I am doing later today. I have a *ton* of errands to run but will be taking my Medifast food with me along with a bottle of water....
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Saturday, December 19, 2015

What Happened

It's been a very stressful but educational week here in Lynville, with too much indulgence and not enough restraint. If you've been following along, you know that after 9 months and -59 pounds on Medifast, and more than 3 years total working on this weight loss (reaching 103 pounds gone), I decided to take "a break." I was just SO tired of the same foods over and over, and was feeling like I wanted to get off the artificial sweeteners...
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Thursday, December 17, 2015

This Sucks!

Okay, this is *not* working out well at all for me, NOT! The sugar demon got a foot in the door and has wreaked havoc. Yes I am weak. Yes I still have food issues. And I am in so much pain right now it is unbelievable. I had been mostly off sugar for so long that I forgot the massive effects it has on my body. For those of you who don't know, sugar causes inflammation in the body. I suffered a great deal of arthritic pain before...
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Short Update

Still plugging along. My head is not in the best place, but I am still doing it. I have had a few times when a big bag of chips sounded like a great stress reliever, but I didn't give in. My pain is high and my exercise is zero.Yesterday's calories were pretty low, but I was really busy. I did turn down free gourmet chocolate samples at the mall, though, so that's a win. I ended up at 1065 calories, 71 g protein, and 93 g carbs....
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Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Wishes

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to eat. Oh, I don't wish I *couldn't* eat. I have friends whose children cannot eat by mouth, and my own child has had some eating issues. What I wish is that I could just skate by, not eating unless I wanted to. I wish I could live on all shakes or something and never eat food unless I felt like it on some special occasion. But that wouldn't be healthy, physically or mentally. We need real...
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Still a Struggle

This whole "free eating" thing is actually a bit scary. I guess I wanted to have a couple of weeks relaxing and not thinking about weight loss and staying on plan. I sort of wanted to eat some stuff I haven't eaten in nine months. I wanted to "control myself" while indulging in some goodies like split pea soup with sourdough bread, a bowl of cereal with milk, and fresh fruit. What I didn't count on was that my brain would start...
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Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Sunday Weigh In

Today I got back on the scale for my now-regularly-planned Sunday weigh in. Last Tuesday I weighed 226 pounds. Today I weigh 225. Hey, it's a start.I also logged calories yesterday and today, after the fact. So they may not be perfectly accurate, since I did not measure but eyeballed my food. I did make a note of what I ate through the day so I know I didn't forget anything. I am just trying to get back into a good habit and get...
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Moving Right Along...

As I have counted calories the past couple of days, there's been a pattern. I do great up until early afternoon, and then I start eating stuff I hadn't planned on... a cracker here, a slice of cheese there, maybe a banana. And then in the evening I hit my limit (1600 calories) and dive off headfirst into some junky item like the ice cream yesterday, and get up around 2000 calories. That is not going to work for weight loss......
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Monday, December 14, 2015

Mindset

Today was good, with a bit of crazy thrown in. I think most days are like that...Good: Ate on plan for breakfast, snack, lunch, and *close* to plan for dinner (had a bit of mashed potatoes with my grass fed beef and salad). Went to physical therapy and worked my butt off. Got some cleaning and laundry done and ran errands. Feeling pretty good!Not-so-good: ice cream. Yes I did. But I did not eat "junk" ice cream... I specifically...
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Making a Weight Loss Goal When You Aren't Really Motivated

...aka, fake it til you make it.I think there are a lot of people out there like me. Fat, sick of it, but not really motivated to change much. Sometimes, people just get tired of the whole diet scene and burned out on weight loss efforts, blogging, counting calories, weighing everything they eat, eliminating whole food categories, etc. It's hard, and I think the older you get the harder it becomes. When I was in my 20's, changing...
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Sunday, December 13, 2015

Trying

After my last post, I tossed out the sugar free Oreos and took stock of things. No, I'm not terribly motivated right now. My energy level is super low, a combination of Seasonal Affective Disorder, grieving, and having my movement so limited over the past several months. I would say right now, I feel as bad as I did before I started blogging... when I weighed 278 pounds. It is hard to get around (mainly due to pain) and I just...
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A Maze of Choices

Over the last 3 days of calorie counting and trying to find my way in a world of food, I have come to a few conclusions. 1. This is harder than I thought. I figured if I went back to eating healthy, whole foods and kept the calories down I'd drop weight AND be satisfied. Nix that. It has only been a few days, but so far the scale is going in the wrong direction AND I am not satisfied. (More on the satisfaction issue later). I...
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