Thank You

This is the most low key, uneventful New Years Eve I have had in years. Like 25 years, at least. I am sitting here with my feet on an old HoMedics foot massager that I've had for ages but was packed away in a box for a long time. I finally found it today...

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Happy New Years' Eve! Traditions

Well, here we are on this final night of 2011. What a year we've had. It's always rather nostalgic to see another year pass and wonder what the new one will bring. Always surprises.We've been lazing around for the most part today, doing a bit of homework, reading, and playing games, watching movies and cooking. I traditionally make a spread of crackers with dips and cheeses and meats and a bunch of appetizers as our NYE meal....

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A Year To Enjoy

I can hardly believe tomorrow is New Year's Eve... the last day of 2012. It kind of snuck up on me; I had to double check the calendar to be sure I was right. Sure enough, there it is: a new year just over 26 hours away. How'd that happen?It makes me very nostalgic when I start looking through my old blogs around this time of year. This will be my sixth new year blogging... hard to believe. All those old posts stand like headstones:...

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Weight Loss Challenge 2012: Let's Do This!

Okay! I am ready to share with you the Challenge I have put together for the new year! I am very excited to get started and hope this helps all of you as much as it will me. This is something I had been planning to do for *myself* for some time now. I wanted...

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Weigh In and Stuff

I got on the scale this morning and as I expected, I was up several pounds from eating carbs and some junk this week. Last Sunday I weighed 211 pounds and today I weigh 218... a seven pound gain in a week. I did not eat nearly enough calories for much of that to be fat gain, but I do feel bloated and puffy. I ate way too much sodium and at least one off-plan thing each day this week. Once I get my carbs up like that at even...

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Goals for a New Year

Ever since I got sick in September, it feels like I've been in a slide down a long, muddy hillside as I went deeper and deeper into depressed feelings and even felt less and less like fighting it. Over the months I gradually stopped even trying to claw my way back up the slope in the rain; when I did, it felt like my fingers were just getting filled with handfuls of mud as the slide down continued. Somewhere in there I think I...

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Random Stuff

Oh my goodness, I am sooo tired. I think I get *more* tired when I drink too much coffee. I was only having 1-2 cups (black) a day but lately I am drinking it (with a bit of cream and Splenda) trying to avoid eating. I mean, I am *eating* but I want to be eating a lot more. Carbs just trigger wanting more carbs... so I have been using coffee (all "treated" up instead of black) to try and avoid the food. Five cups of coffee a day...

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Helping Each Other: Let's Lose Weight Together

There are so many of us wandering around alone, needing help, but not quite knowing how to ask for it. We want to lose weight, get healthy, feel connected. But it's hard in this world. It's not the same world our parents grew up in.Over Christmas break, my...

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Moods and Food

I looked in the mirror today and said, "self, I like you!" And then I noticed that my face looks better... less bloated, less fat under the chin. I am down more than ten pounds since my restart on December 14, which was two weeks ago. I feel much better, my jeans are not tight anymore, and I am much, much happier. The happiness, I am convinced, is in good part due to mood improvement from better nutrition and getting off junk....

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Update

Things are not horrible, but they are stressful.I had to take my daughter to the doctor today. She has pinkeye.I got a call that there was a death in the family, a little cousin I never got to know and now never will.I have spent about 2 hours today trying to fax needed documents for our medical trip, but keep getting either a busy signal from the fax I am calling or a "line error" message on my fax.Things are worse,...

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Eating Well

Today feels like a new day to me. Of course, every day is literally new... but as the dark has lifted slowly and gradually, each day is a bit better. And today I feel an inner happiness and peace I have not had in awhile. It's a different kind of happy than the kind that is induced by joyful events; even at my lowest, I've felt happy when I spend time with family, or open presents at Christmas, or see a pretty sunset. What I am...

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Caught

What is really hard is when you get caught in the cycle of eating stuff that is not conducive to weight loss for whatever reason, and every time you get up in the morning and start out "on plan" (whatever your plan may be) but then it all falls apart before dinner.I lived in that "diet cycle" for years and years, swinging back and forth repeatedly between 250 and 280 pounds. It was my LIFE, really. I would count my calories...

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Yesterday, and a Challenge Update

Yesterday was another good day for me. I had leftover turkey breast, low fat cheesy cauliflower, and green beans for my dinner and it was delish. Today I will be making a family favorite: turkey soup and beer bread (not for me, but for the family). I am debating whether to make myself a smaller pot of turkey soup with the same homemade stock, chunks of turkey, extra veggies and no noodles, or (since I am slightly tired of turkey)...

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A Bit Better

I'm back from a much-needed holiday break (well, I am still technically on break for another ten days... a blessing I am very thankful for). I needed a little time away from the computer to re-focus a bit, and I am feeling markedly better. Not ecstatic, or energetic, but better.There's been lots of Christmas excitement around these parts, with parties, a trip to see the Nutcracker ballet, and of course tons of shopping! There...

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A Nice Little Break

What a nice break it was yesterday from all the chaos and activity of the past few weeks! Finally, I got to sit and just BE. Everything was closed, so I didn't have anything I *could* do pressing on my mind as I tried to relax. It was just so nice to watch...

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How It Went, and Weigh In

You know what is really wonderful? A Christmas that is NOT about the food.I always thought it just wouldn't be Christmas if we didn't have a ton of goodies. Cinnamon rolls, candy, fudge, and cookies are all such a big part of what I identify about Christmas. But this year, even though I still made the goodies, they were not sharing the stage with what was *really* important to me.Saturday was just awesome. There is something transcendent...

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A Wish

Today I was thinking about all the people who aren't happy today. I know the holidays are difficult for many. It's a memory-laden time of year filled with long, dark, cold days; it's the time of year my father died. But for me, I think my kids really make it better... make it happy. For others, perhaps being with their parents or siblings, nieces and nephews is what brings them joy. But there are people out there who don't have...

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Weigh In, and a Medifast Discount Coupon Code

Weigh in for this week is 211, a maintain since last Sunday. Since I dropped 4 pounds last week and 3 the week before, I am not terribly surprised. Hopefully the weight loss will pick back up this coming week. This morning I had my favorite, occasional 'indulgent' Medifast meal: a Medifast pancake spread with a tablespoon of peanut butter and a spoonful of Walden Farms blueberry jam. Back when I did Medifast before, 1 tablespoon...

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What Christmas Was

This morning I was in the kitchen cleaning and making coffee while my daughter sat at the dining room table drawing. She was asking me about my Christmas when I was a little girl. She'd forgotten about how I'd told her last year that I did not get to have Christmas as a child, or any other holidays due to my mother's religion. She asked, "Didn't you get a birthday cake? Didn't anyone even tell you happy birthday? What about a...

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Woke Up Ready!

This morning, I woke up ready to get going! Not on anything in particular, just on life.This is worth mentioning because of the serious sleep deprivation and fatigue problems I've had over the past several months. I generally stay up til 10 or 11 and don't fall asleep until 11 or 12. Then I wake up 2 or 3 times in the night, plus my daughter sometimes comes in my room and wakes me up. Then the senior dog starts barking, sometimes...

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Relief

Today has been much, much better so far. I sent a few faxes, and now I don't have anything I really have to do until after Christmas. Well, I have to do laundry today for sure and maybe some dishes, but I mean I don't have anything else urgent or pressing that I have to worry about right now. Appointments are made, prescriptions are filled, and school is out. I can relax. I even got a call from the rheumatologist and set an appointment...

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Something Changed

Something changed today. Instead of trying to explain it, let me just compare today with the last few months.Most days, last few months: avoid, avoid, eat, avoid, think about food, avoid, procrastinate, do some basic stuff, avoid, rest, spend time with kids, avoid, force self to do basic cleaning, avoid, procrastinate, feel tired, be annoyed I can't get anything done, obsess about food, avoid, procrastinate, make lists, think...

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Persistence

Many years ago when I was a divorced mom of four, I took my little ones to school and then, as usual, drove 20 minutes to get to the college I was attending. I was quite poor back then, and didn't even have a cell phone. So it happened that while I was miles away sitting in a history class, my youngest child had an injury at school. He knocked out a front tooth. Actually, he did not knock it all the way out... it broke off, leaving...

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Seeing Things Differently

I have noticed a bit of a shift in the way I look at my body in the mirror. Maybe it started with that trip to try on clothes and buy a dress and a pair of jeans. I saw myself then in a way I never really had before. And that has kind of stuck with me.Now don't get me wrong. I am not about self-loathing. I do not find my body disgusting or repulsive. I still find it beautiful. I still thank my arms for holding my babies and than...

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How I Feel About My Eating

How do I feel about my eating lately? I don't. That's right, I don't *feel* about my eating. If you've struggled with any kind of food obsession or compulsive eating, you know what it is like to be trapped in a loop of strong emotions, food thoughts... and usually, food actions. I am blessed to be once again, for the most part, freed from that kind of obsession. And even aside from obsession, which is all about an emotional attachment...

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MTHFR

I am really bowled over my the latest *thing* in my life, and don't really understand it all, but I wanted to let you know what is going on. Sorry if I don't sound too coherent; I am overwhelmed.Even though I rarely blog about any of my childrens' health issues out of respect for their privacy, I've mentioned that three of my five children have had serious medical issues. Today after a particular phone call from a doctor, I thought,...

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Weigh In and Plan

Feeling MUCH better today, physically and emotionally! I think yesterday's ick was probably sugar withdrawal more than anything, and now I am out the other side and things should get easier again. Today is day 5 on plan. I started back on Medifast on Wednesday weighing 214. Today I am down 6 pounds to 208. I do feel less bloated. It is nice when the bloat/water retention from sugar and tons of carbs goes away. The ache in my hands...

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Thinking...

I was looking over the Maintenance program Medifast puts out, to get some more ideas about what it might take to maintain once I reach goal weight, or even to lose more via eating whole foods. I also wanted to compare MY ideal of long term eating to theirs.I wrote about mine here, just the other day. I found Medifast's here, in the Maintenance Guide. This is their guideline for a day's intake in maintenance:5 servings of veggies...

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Today

I'd call it a bad day, but given what some other people are going through, I shouldn't complain.Dropping off my 7-year-old at school this morning was hard. Emotionally, I was torn between keeping her home and safe, and letting her go back to her regular life in her class in her happy-go-lucky innocence. In the end, I took her to school cheerfully, because I don't want my emotional distress and fear to become hers. When she ran...

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More Sickness

I don't feel well AT ALL this morning. I was up at 6:30 and felt fine, but tired. I had my cup of coffee as usual. Then I started to feel hot and sort of off. Maybe slightly nauseous. I thought I might be hungry and wanted to stay liquid just in case I am coming down with something, so I had a Medifast hot cocoa. I still have not gotten it all down. I feel a little dizzy, hot and cold, and varying between hungry (stomach growling)...

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Thoughts on a Long Term Plan

I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days, about where I want to be in a year and how I want to get there. I've gotten a lot of good input from your comments, so thank you for that. A couple of sure things:I need to exercise. I need to move more. I have known this all along, but for some reason have been resistant. I keep hurting myself when I exercise. I think doing my PT exercises for my legs will help with that,...

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Weigh In and Other Stuff

The scale was good to me this week as it was last week: this morning I weighed 211 pounds. That's a big loss of 4 pounds this week! That makes a total of 11 pounds lost since I re-started Medifast on November 18... almost a month ago. I have averaged 2.75 pounds a week so far, which is a bit higher than Medifast's expected loss of 1-2 pounds per week. I figure it will slow down later like it did last time, so I am enjoying the...

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